Sorry for the long delay in blogging, the last few months have been strange. I know that’s been the case for a lot of other people too. I’m going to try to write a catch-up/brain dump post of sorts both to benefit me & you as my readers. I’ll try not to waffle too much.
So first, my physical health. As usual some things have improved while others have deteriorated. And nothing is predictable! My mobility has been much better recently which has been frustrating because I’ve not been able to get out & make the most of it. My paralysis was less frequent but is back regularly now. My energy levels are very up & down. I have no pattern at all to my sleep. And I’ve been struggling with pain – both my usual chronic pain being worse than usual & developing new pain. So all of that keeps me on my toes!
Regarding my mental health, it’s a bit better now than when I last posted but in the middle I did have quite a dip where I found it difficult to take care of myself. But things have improved a little now so that feels more stable. I’m still really sad about the loss of so many friends over the years but that thought isn’t at the front of my mind 24/7 any more. It’s still often present though. And I’ve gone through a spell of depression which as usual seems to be related to my poor physical health & exacerbated by shielding meaning I can’t get out the house for a distraction & plan trips out to look forward.
I’m aware that lockdown is now easing for the majority for people but those of us shielding have been told to officially continue til the start of August. I’m not sure what we’ll do after that, we definitely won’t stop all the precautions we’re currently taking to keep me safe but will probably play it by ear & start to relax things a bit. Hopefully it won’t be too long til we feel it’s safe enough to have my PAs back in as different company (aside from immediate family) helps my spirits & allows my parents a break. They have been getting away in their campervan for a night or two here & there now my younger brother is home to look after me. But I felt very guilty when they had to cut one trip short because I was struggling to manage the pain I was in.
Fluffy Thing is well & happy. He’s still getting out for walks with other family members who take him to the middle of the countryside where they don’t see anyone else. He did worry us earlier in lockdown when he had yet another sore paw but one of my PAs came to the rescue & took him to the vet on our behalf. After an operation to drain the affected area & have an explore (they didn’t find anything but I suspect it might have been another grass seed injury) he healed very quickly.
We’ve been well supported by my two PAs, neighbours & family members throughout lockdown so haven’t gone short of anything. My spirits have also mostly been ok but I think keeping them up is going to become more of a challenge now the majority of people return to their normal lives, yet I’ll have to continue to be patient.
I can’t remember exactly when we started shielding but the last time I left the house before that was for a hospital appt in early March. I then didn’t leave the house at all until a few weeks ago but more recently have had 3 restricted/limited trips out. One was a walk round the block at night when it was quiet, one was a car journey to see some of the local area but not leave the car & the latest was another car journey with a quick wander in a quiet area to watch Fluffy Thing have a wander. Health permitting my dad & I might do something more exciting this week but I’ll share more about that with you afterwards if it comes to fruition.
As I may already have said or you may have realised, I’ve already had to miss two of my planned trips to Disneyland Paris – in April & June. One I cancelled & one I rescheduled to Sept. So now I need to cancel my Sept, Oct & Nov trips. I want to cancel rather than reschedule as I don’t know when it’ll be safe for me to return. I’m not sure how easily it’ll be to get the trips refunded now the park is open again but hopefully they’ll be understanding. And I’ve also got the Eurostar trips to try to get refunded. If not I’ve always got my travel insurance to fall back on but due to my complex health the excess is quite high so that’s result in me losing a significant amount of the money. But getting some of the money back would be better than nothing. And I’m sure I could find at least one medical professional involved in my care to write me something saying it’s unsafe for me to travel if DLP, Eurostar or my insurance company won’t take my word for it.
I think I’ve been doing relatively well at keeping myself occupied during lockdown. I haven’t done much crafting but have enjoyed doing jigsaws, watching TV, listening to music & playing on my Switch – amongst other things. My concentration hasn’t been good enough to watch films though which has been frustrating.
For a while the Switch game Animal Crossing: New Horizons took over my life a bit but after 700 hours of play I’m not playing that as intensely any longer & am taking time to play some other games as well. I’m aware that’s a lot of hours but it was a very good distraction from all that’s going on with the world & my health.
Oh & my younger brother has been teaching us a brilliant board game called Wingspan. If you look it up you’ll notice it’s pricey but it’s well worth it & we’ve all had a lot of enjoyment from that.
I really miss shops. I know I can still buy things online but it’s not the same. I’m not a huge shopper but I’ve not been in a shop since February & just want to browse some things on a shelf! Anyway, keeping safe is the most important. My freedom will return at some point. And as I might have said previously I miss having things in the diary to look forward to, that’s something that really helps me keep going when things are hard.
Sorry for that last moany paragraph, I really am doing ok. I’m currently trying to think of how to mark a big birthday I’ve got coming up in just a couple of months so hopefully that’ll be something to look forward to.
Thanks for reading. Hopefully it won’t be too long til I update again. I’m also hoping to share some photos of Fluffy Thing as he’s been a big boost to my mental health recently & I’d like to try to share that with you. Take care & stay safe.
